The hygienist to dentist ratio

If you don't like stereotypes or generalized statements, this is not the blog post for you...

I went to the dentist today to get a proper calculation of how much drilling and capping needed to be done in my mouth and I was again smacked in the face with the reality of the formula of hygienists to dentists that occurs in every dentist office I've been in since I can remember.

Dentist: Nondescript Male
Hygienist: Ratio of 3-to-one for the nondescript dentist male of bubbly, perky, young twenty-something girls eager to stick their fingers in my mouth and ask questions....or, better yet, hygienists who ask the dentist questions about dental hygiene that will make said patient wonder how and the hell the hygienist has the got to the stage where they actually DO have their fingers in patient's mouth.

Just once. I want some brass bitch with dark hair, tattoos and eccentric makeup to walk up to my chair and put it to me straight...You know, tell me my teeth are messed up and that they're going to have to do excessive work, that I'm not going to like it and most importantly, not apologize for having to take proper precautions to ensure I don't end up with dentures by the time I'm 40.

I'm bored with the scenario already.

I'm tired of the bouncy, perky standard battery of, "Are you doing OK?" followed by, "I'm sorry." If you're going to ask me how I feel about needing another round of crowns and fillings and, because I have not had the proper dosage of coffee, I decide to tell you I'm not looking forward to it - tell me something you're sorry I'm feeling grumpy about the fact.

Go ahead - tell me I need to lay off the acidic beverages and hard candy - I can take it. I may not change my habits, but I can take it. If I couldn't, I certainly would not intentionally continue to book my appointments on a 6 month basis - Trust me, I'm not coming in for the company.

So if any of my dear friends in the SLC have a good line on a well educated dentist that has biker chicks doing the hygienist work, let me know. I'm ready for the change...