To aid in the prevention of blood clots in my legs, my docs have instructed me to wear compression stockings for four weeks...I've got 17 more days to go.
For the record, I hate the compression stockings. Its like putting on a pair of super strength thigh-high pantyhose that are 10 sizes too small. I never liked pantyhose in the first place - this adventure reaffirms my belief that pantyhose are for torture, not fashion.
These stockings cause a muffin top effect so extreme at the top of my thighs that they look like two chef hats perched above my knees. It's gross.
I'm also not allowed to bend more than 90-degrees right now, so my legs haven't been shaved since the replacement. As the hair on my legs grows, it's getting caught in the weave of the compression stockings.
This is an awful sensation.
Leg hairs get pulled up and down as I crutch about the house. When the stockings begin to slip because the grippy band at the top of the stockings is not worth a crap, I reach down to pull them up, again pulling my leg hairs and agitating the raw, bruised skin on my legs.
I have cankles...I don't know if this is being caused by the compression stockings or not, but because I hate the way they feel - I'll blame them.
The only up side to these way too tight, super unsexy pieces of hospital lingerie is that they hide the very odd bluish tint that is developing from the bruising in my legs...not enough of a benefit to make me happy.
In 17 days I'm going to take great delight in feeling my leg hairs blowing in the wind instead of being mashed and pulled in the damn socks. That will be invigorating.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Launch Her Mind
This card arrived for me earlier this week made by my friend David and signed by my awesome coworkers. I am so fortunate to have a network of people who support me and have a fantastic sense of humor. I am also excited to have suggestions for cool nicknames moving forward: Slash, Cyborg, Cylon, Bionic Woman.
I also have the support of my friend Mike to own a Little Rascal with straight pipes, a souped up motor and confederate flags attached to the back. Yes, instead of a Harley, today I wish this to be my method of transportation as I sport my leathers and scream "Outta my way!" while I zip down the sidewalk.
Above is said card...Notice that Jose Cuervo is the official sponsor of the contents of my IV bag.
I also have the support of my friend Mike to own a Little Rascal with straight pipes, a souped up motor and confederate flags attached to the back. Yes, instead of a Harley, today I wish this to be my method of transportation as I sport my leathers and scream "Outta my way!" while I zip down the sidewalk.
Above is said card...Notice that Jose Cuervo is the official sponsor of the contents of my IV bag.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Poo in the suburbs
Alternate titles for this blog:
24 piles in 2 blocks
-or-
Not my dog
-or-
The case of the Phantom Shitter
Which ever way you look at it. It's unnecessary.
During my past two years in condoland, I have observed a disturbing behavior that drives me crazy when I take Buster for a walk...There is dog poo all over the place.
Yet it doesn't seem to belong to anyone.
"Not my dog," seems to be a typical response. Also common is, "I always pick up after my dog."
Which leads us to the case of the Phantom Shitter. If all of us who own dogs in the suburbs either have dogs that don't poop at all or pick up after our dogs all of the time, then the only possible solution is a phantom creature who's purpose for being is to cruise through neighborhoods late at night strategically placing doggie poo shaped pieces in home owner's yards to cause grief and finger pointing among neighbors.
This creature must take special delight in visiting the gated community near my town home. As I was walking taking notice of the high volume of poo on my way home this evening, I decided to count the piles for the last two blocks leading up to my house. That's right, 24 piles of poo in 2 blocks. I never saw that kind of crap when I lived downtown...is this a suburban thing?
I propose the following:
#1 Buy one of these handy poo baggie dispenser thingys from Pet Nation so you always have bags with you
#2 If you're busy or lazy, call someone like Dr. Scoopy Poo to pick up what your pup leaves behind
It's too bad that it is not socially acceptable to rub a human's nose in poo and tell them "NO! Either pick that up or do it in your own damn yard!" That'd put a different spin things, wouldn't it?
24 piles in 2 blocks
-or-
Not my dog
-or-
The case of the Phantom Shitter
Which ever way you look at it. It's unnecessary.
During my past two years in condoland, I have observed a disturbing behavior that drives me crazy when I take Buster for a walk...There is dog poo all over the place.
Yet it doesn't seem to belong to anyone.
"Not my dog," seems to be a typical response. Also common is, "I always pick up after my dog."
Which leads us to the case of the Phantom Shitter. If all of us who own dogs in the suburbs either have dogs that don't poop at all or pick up after our dogs all of the time, then the only possible solution is a phantom creature who's purpose for being is to cruise through neighborhoods late at night strategically placing doggie poo shaped pieces in home owner's yards to cause grief and finger pointing among neighbors.
This creature must take special delight in visiting the gated community near my town home. As I was walking taking notice of the high volume of poo on my way home this evening, I decided to count the piles for the last two blocks leading up to my house. That's right, 24 piles of poo in 2 blocks. I never saw that kind of crap when I lived downtown...is this a suburban thing?
I propose the following:
#1 Buy one of these handy poo baggie dispenser thingys from Pet Nation so you always have bags with you
#2 If you're busy or lazy, call someone like Dr. Scoopy Poo to pick up what your pup leaves behind
It's too bad that it is not socially acceptable to rub a human's nose in poo and tell them "NO! Either pick that up or do it in your own damn yard!" That'd put a different spin things, wouldn't it?
Monday, April 21, 2008
Eclair love
It's getting to be BBQ season and every good BBQ deserves to be followed with a killer desert. My sister shared this recipe with me a couple of years ago and it deserves to be shared with anyone who is a fan of chocolaty goodness. Oh, it also happens that this treat is super easy to make....
Enjoy!
Easy Eclair dessert
27 whole graham crackers
3 cups cold milk
2 pkgs (4 servings) Jello Vanilla instant pudding
1 tub (16oz) Cool Whip, thawed
1 container (16oz) ready to spread chocolate fudge frosting
Arrange 1/3 of the crackers on the bottom of a 13 x 9 baking pan, breaking crackers to fit if necessary.
Pour milk into large bowl. Add pudding mixes. Beat with wire whisk 2 minutes. Gently stir in cool whip.
Spread 1/2 of the pudding mixture over the crackers. Spread 1/2 of the remaining crackers over the pudding. Top with remaining pudding mixture and crackers.
Remove top and foil from frosting container. Microwave frosting in container on high for 1 minute or until pourable (stirring after 1 minute)
Spread frosting evenly over crackers.
Refrigerate 4 hours or overnight. Cut into squares and serve.
Enjoy!
Easy Eclair dessert
27 whole graham crackers
3 cups cold milk
2 pkgs (4 servings) Jello Vanilla instant pudding
1 tub (16oz) Cool Whip, thawed
1 container (16oz) ready to spread chocolate fudge frosting
Arrange 1/3 of the crackers on the bottom of a 13 x 9 baking pan, breaking crackers to fit if necessary.
Pour milk into large bowl. Add pudding mixes. Beat with wire whisk 2 minutes. Gently stir in cool whip.
Spread 1/2 of the pudding mixture over the crackers. Spread 1/2 of the remaining crackers over the pudding. Top with remaining pudding mixture and crackers.
Remove top and foil from frosting container. Microwave frosting in container on high for 1 minute or until pourable (stirring after 1 minute)
Spread frosting evenly over crackers.
Refrigerate 4 hours or overnight. Cut into squares and serve.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
The marketing post that had me ROFLMAO
I love work that presents itself as a puzzle. The task of figuring out how to do things different. Figuring out how to do things better.
Right now I'm diving into the social media pool to see how my company can fit in. I'm reading articles, following blogs and seeing how others have successfully maneuvered their position from the traditional 'speak to the mission statement' ways and developed an online presence that is casual, yet credible.
In my readings today, I came across this....
I laughed out loud as I paged through the slides. Afterwards, I pushed my chair back from my desk and thought, "Yup - Nailed it." Then I forwarded the post to a friend. Now, I'm sharing it with you.
Right now I'm diving into the social media pool to see how my company can fit in. I'm reading articles, following blogs and seeing how others have successfully maneuvered their position from the traditional 'speak to the mission statement' ways and developed an online presence that is casual, yet credible.
In my readings today, I came across this....
I laughed out loud as I paged through the slides. Afterwards, I pushed my chair back from my desk and thought, "Yup - Nailed it." Then I forwarded the post to a friend. Now, I'm sharing it with you.
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