Ego is my copilot

Next weekend I'll travel with my bike and gear to tackle the White Rim in Canyonlands National Park.

It has been almost two years since I've seriously ridden a mountain bike. In fact, last weekend I took my new Specialized MTB for its christening run and succeeded in also providing the bike with it's christening crash (my new body mechanics are seriously messing with my center of balance --- clumsiness ensues).

I know my legs are not at peak performance, but I'm going on this trip anyway. I've had a couple of friends ask me how I'm going to ride 100 miles of trail when I am admittedly not quite ready.

The answer is this. I'm counting on my ego to keep my pedals going in circles while we ride along the desert floor.

I live to succeed and am powered by the drive to win. However, if I am not able to ride the entire length of the trail, I will take comfort in the fact that I have challenged myself to ride farther than I've ever ridden before.

My new challenge - Bikram

I made a strict promise to myself at the beginning of the year to find a physical outlet for both body and mind. To find a place where I would be able to challenge myself without feelings of inadequacy and competition.

I have found that challenge. It is Bikram Yoga.

It is not the relaxing, bendy yoga. This is 90 minutes of focus or die yoga in a 105 degree room with 40% humidity. It could be described as a breathing exercise consisting of 26 postures done in the same sequence.

I'm using it s a tool to reconnect my mind with my body and bring back the flexibility I have lost from the new hip replacement. My body still feels very foreign to me and it's important that I be able to feel more of the transitions it is making.

While I am still easing my way into the practice I have learned a few very important lessons. After completing a class, I feel completely cleansed and giggle at the way my body oozes steam as I walk outside on a cool morning. I had my first yoga religious experience through Camel pose a couple of weeks ago which sent tears streaming down my face...Now when I reach in to Camel, I smile and my entire body fills with joy and satisfaction. Most importantly, I have learned that a cluttered mind in this environment makes the practice impossible to complete and that lack of focus will bring waves extreme nausea and dizziness over my body.

It's 90 minutes of discipline, but at the same time it feels like an escape. I love the similarities to the dojo in that everyone in the room is stripped of our careers, houses and material things and for the class we are merely students.

While I'm there, the only mandate is that I dedicate the time to myself and that is the kind of challenge and activity that makes me dig deep and get to know myself better. And I'm really liking how it feels to dedicate this time to me...

Search and you shall find

I love the Interweb!

Plagued with solving the puzzle of figuring out how many plastic playpen balls will be needed to fill the kiddie pool we are using for a treasure hunt at work in a few weeks, I was once again reminded that Google is the provider of all things info.

I found this. An online calculator that will show you how many playpen balls it would take to fill an apartment.

YAY!

From desired packing density, to number of balls to cost to fill the room. While not nearly impressive as the amount shown in the diagram - I now know that I need only 200 playpen balls to do what I need to do.

Random - yes. Useful - yes, yes! And to boot, the cartoon that inspired the development of the calculator - also fun.

Check it.
Cartoon courtesy: xkcd

Hey Smart Ass!

Yes, still playing with the bathroom.

After waiting at home while Jason made four trips to the tile supply store and a lot of me just staring blankly at the wall, I was bored. And when I'm bored, I get feisty.

Jason, "Draw me a picture..."

Dani [shrug], "Ok."

My smiley guy with the 'hee hee' comment resulted in the paper and pen being taken away from me, but we both got a good chuckle out of it.

Built to last

This is it.

Left leg upgrade is now complete. It was January last year when this adventure began. I think of the whirlwind of emotions, complications and victories that have filled me since my decision to have the hip replaced and I'm finally able to look back and say, "Yup, I'm glad I did that."

However, with great upgrades, come great responsibility.

The other day while driving to the grocery store I noticed a man struggling to limp across the crosswalk in front of my car. I silently reminded myself I have been given a remarkable opportunity that freed me from my battle with pain - I need to not take it for granted. But I have, because I know I can do more.

So I'm writing this note to myself...

Dear Self,


Push more! Stop talking about all of the activities you want to do and DO THEM. Finish building the foundation you need to overcome your fear and get back into the activities you love. You have the green light to do whatever you feel you can physically tolerate, so get out there and hit it. You are stronger than you think and are not going to get hurt again. If you don't - you're letting it all go to waste.

Thank you,
Ms. Back-to-Badass-Dani