You ski. I ski. Hold on while I make this awkward.

Single life comes with a bizarre layer of ego that creates some very "neat" opportunities. Put me in a board room and I can play with the best of them. Put me in a social situation with the opposite sex, and this kind of crap happens.

Face down, skis up.
*Reenactment of actual events. 

Case and point. My friend Stacey and I were making mad turns at Solitude this season and I started chatting with a gentleman (ski dude) while traversing after coming off the Sunshine Bowl. We got over to the far side of the mountain and I slapped my skis together and took off.

Like 'jacket flapping in the wind' took off and blazed past the guy and his buddy, feeling rather pleased at my parallel form and wind on my face. 

As I stopped at the bottom, I turned to face up the hill and wait for Stacey. Ski dude approached first and said, "Wow, you totally bombed it down that run. Your friend says you're single." I turned around to say "Thank You," but instead crossed tips and stuffed my face into the snow on the way around. 

He laughs. I laugh. 

Does this pose make me look like less
of a jackass? Didn't think so, but I am charming.

I prop myself up and quip, "You know; when I left the house today I thought, I should totally biff it in front of some dude before I go home. Now, here I am."

He states, "I am so glad I got to see that. It was amazing."

Me to him, "Glad I could assist. My name is Dani."

Him to me, "My name is Mike. Do you blog? Because if you do you should totally write about this." 

I last saw Mike getting onto the chair and have yet so see him again. 

So, "Mike," if you're out there. I'm blogging, and this one is for you. 

I might be "Jen"

I didn't start my career in IT. In fact, I started about as far away as I could from Information Technology as the government relations/communications manager of the Chamber of Commerce in a small town in Colorado.

Fast forward 13 years and I find myself not only leaving marketing and communications, but working in the one area that used to make me lose my shit as a kid trying to program the Commadore 64 to make a flappy bird appear in the left hand corner of the TV screen as I sat on the floor in the living room.

Thats right; I'm a young professional with an extensive background in communications and marketing living in the basement of a government IT building who often finds herself answering the question, "How did the Marketing Manager for the Planetarium end up in IT?"

If you've seen the IT Crowd, this post will make a lot more sense. So if that's lacking from your watch list, stop here and go watch a few episodes....or at least watch the linked clip.

I traded in my multimedia deadlines and camera interviewing skills for a new opportunity. Websites are my passion. Websites are created in IT. I go where the websites are.

Image courtesy http://balancedscorecard.org/

But that's where things get a bit tricky.

Like my initial struggle to follow the litany of acronyms and the ITIL certification that I struggle to complete. The first time I was asked what the Deming cycle was, I responded with, "A setting that does not exist on my washing machine." Not that I'm trying to make light of the importance of the lifecycle process, there's just an interesting learning curve when you're used to SWOT, PMS, CPM and HIPPO in daily conversation.

I do, however, understand the importance of technology in a government setting and how customers expect services to be available to them 24/7. Long story short; I'm where I want to be at this point in my career.

But every now and again I pull a strange-ass maneuver that goes down in the books as a reference point for why my coworkers enjoy my being in their arena.

It's called entertainment value.

Case and point. During a meeting today I heard what was presumed to be incessant knocking on the conference room door. At first we all looked at each other waiting to see who would make the first move. With my mad social skills and over-eager personality, I decided to get up and let whomever was knocking into the room.

When I whisked open the door. It was promptly met with a "thud."

The noise was the force of my hand forcing the door into the carpet guy's head. It wasn't knocking we were hearing at all. It was the sound of the carpet guy installing the baseboard strip NEXT TO THE DOOR.

Squealing, I jumped back with many apologies as my coworkers looked on in amazement. "I am SO SORRY! You thought you were here to lay baseboard, instead you got hit in the head!"

After awkwardly backing up to let the door close, I sauntered back to the conference room table and sat staring at the rest of the group, speechless. One of my coworkers piped up, "I nominate Dani to open the door....always."

Which was followed up with, "You know why we keep you down here right? Entertainment value."

"This is your peace of mind Jen, and I'm going to pop it....but I'm not going to tell you when.......http://www.sleazeroxx.com/)

Yup, I just might be Jen.

But you know what? I'll take it. Because at the end of the day, when you take yourself too seriously, it's a long and lonely trip out of this ride called life.

Incoming!

Dear Google,

Thanks for keeping the Vertical Inhibitor intact.....since 2009. I haven't forgotten you, in fact I hadn't really missed you, until recently.

But after a lengthy and inspiring conversation centered about the "why" that has been staring me in the face, I'm coming back. And I'm doing so with a vengeance.

Have I thought about

• The right thing?
• Unapologetically putting myself out for the world to see?
• Standing on top of the mountain and screaming?
• All of the fun we can have?

The answer is yes. I'll move forward with sharing the clumsy, the funny, the moving, the harsh and the little demon that sits on one shoulder egging me on just to "see what happens."

Why? 

I'll tell you.

In the words of one of the the most beautiful woman I've known who's memory I cherish every day, "She believed she could so she did."

So I will. 

Summer adventures abound

Where have I been?

A little bit here:














Antelope Island, SLC, UT. I'm quickly developing a fondness for this place, some pretty good ST and beautiful scenery.


And here:




















Yellow Fork Trail, Oquirrh Mountain area UT. Nice and steep. However, it's a shared trail with horses - which combined with rainy weather can lead to copious amounts of horse poop and mud getting jammed in SPD pedals - hence the 'turtle' action in this pic.


And here:




















Peek-a-boo Slot Canyon, Escalante UT. My first attempt at canyoneering. Ever. Gorgeous, but this trip was a bit scary for me. Looking forward to another attempt at climbing around in slot canyons to see how I fare.

And, very briefly, here...




















Another nice shot from Escalante, UT at the Spooky slot canyon entrance...


I do feel compelled to write about my summer adventures, but when it comes to writing my stories, I find myself driven to the outdoors rather than the computer screen. So I give to you the ADHD method of documentation. That's right, PICTURES! And thanks to my good friend, Jared Hargrave, video.

When I take the time to slow down a bit, I'll do a better job of telling you about where the good stuff is; because trust me - I'm finding it. In the meantime, surf my links.

Today's lesson, "B"

It occurred to me this weekend while peddling up switchbacks on Antelope Island, that this season, all my favorite things start with the letter "B."

1. Bikes
2. Beers
3. Boy (Jason, of course!)
4. BBQ
5. Beauty

It makes for a very nice mantra as I'm plodding along through life.

Staying Alive - with Mike

I've blogged about Mike before. He's part hero, part funky but mostly a good excuse to party like a chicken with your head cut off. Literally.

I wasn't going to miss Mike the Headless Chicken Festival this year. Too many years had passed since I had stood in the square outside city hall to "celebrate a long history of open minds."

The air in Fruita was a sweet mix of Russian Olive trees, desert dust and cheap beer, but the festive vibe of hundreds of people gathered for disco influenced line dancing with a man in a chicken suit was the perfect backdrop for the eclectic experience this town is known for....It was good to be home.

I sat back and reminisced with Sally, my talented aunt who is one of the founders of the festival and the hired guns behind the artistic themes for each year, trying to guess how many Peeps would be consumed and how the festival has grown. Stopping buy Mike's Store, I made sure to pick up a Mike Wear tank top with the official USDA Funky Chicken Grade trademark stamp.

My camera did not make the trip this year, so I was forced to try and capture the evening with my trusty iPhone. The results, not as I'd hoped.

But even if I did have a commercial grade camera at my side, this is an experience that could never be captured with a lens. This trip is a must do.

And if you are going to venture to Fruita to celebrate Mike, do yourself a favor and take your bike to experience the best mountain biking in the west. Or go see my friends at Over the Edge Sports and rent one. You'll be glad you did.

Good memories come from bad ideas

There are two phone calls I look forward to every year. The first is my dad calling to sing me "Happy Birthday." The second call is my dad calling to ask me if I'm going to take my small sedan to Jeep Safari Weekend in Moab, UT.

While the first call is obvious, the second deserves explanation. You see, I'm the poster child for the phrase, "There's a time and a place for everything. It's called college."

To demonstrate. In the spring of 1997, I loaded up a couple of my Utah buddies, copious amounts of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and headed to Jeep Safari Weekend driving one of these:

Not one of these:
Which was no big deal for the portion of my journey that was from Price to Moab. Where I began to have troubles was when I used the 1985 Toyota Camry to negotiate jeep trails in Moab. After three days of driving from trails, to campsites, to town; I knew I had scraped bottom, but was otherwise not concerned about the state of my car.

After said weekend of testing my mad sedan driving skills, I went back home to Colorado. I was enjoying sleeping in at my parents house when the door burst open and my dad entered the room. "What. In. The. Hell. Happened. To. Your. Car?!"

I mulled it over, decided to come clean and then found out that the undercarriage and suspension had sustained over $1800 in damage and I was lucky to have made it home in one piece.

Now, every Easter weekend, on Friday, my dad calls me. "So. You heading to Jeep Safari this weekend?" and we laugh about my adventures as a college kid.

And you know what? It never gets old. That phone call is as important and joy filled to me as the happy birthday song I get every year in Feburary.

Inspiration from the Sun

A week after being on the White Rim trail, I'm still reminiscing of the sun on my face and the dirt in my teeth. While at times grueling and quite often cold, I would jump at the chance to hop on my bike and do the trip all over again (and again, and again).

I am inspired when I'm in the mountains, but this trip was exceptional. My riding pace often put me in position far behind the rest of my fellow riders, but far enough ahead of the support vehicles, that I was alone to take in the beauty of my surroundings and merge my body and mind into the ride. With skies as far as I could see and snowy mountain tops in the distance, I whispered to myself, "It's good to be alive."

Joy and excitement were accompanied with muscle fatigue and the worst case of ass pain I have ever had to negotiate, but it was all part of the experience. By coaxing myself through the tough stuff, I was able to mark my milestones of accomplishment....Riding a majority of the trip, climbing big hills and weathering the cold.

After four days of being surrounded by amazing friends and making new ones along the way, Matt, Arikka, Jared, Jason and I were all riding in the truck back to our car. We climbed, then coasted the rolling hills with big smiles on our faces while Eddie Vetter sang to us about the "Hard Sun."

At that moment that Jason said, "There are credits rolling behind us right now."

It was perfect. The perfect ending to the perfect trip...which provided me inspiration for this.





Photos Courtesy: Jared Hargrave, Jared Anderton, Adam Tolman, Arikka Fullmer, Matt Walker, Dave Hert.
Music Credit: Into the Wild Soundtrack

Ego is my copilot

Next weekend I'll travel with my bike and gear to tackle the White Rim in Canyonlands National Park.

It has been almost two years since I've seriously ridden a mountain bike. In fact, last weekend I took my new Specialized MTB for its christening run and succeeded in also providing the bike with it's christening crash (my new body mechanics are seriously messing with my center of balance --- clumsiness ensues).

I know my legs are not at peak performance, but I'm going on this trip anyway. I've had a couple of friends ask me how I'm going to ride 100 miles of trail when I am admittedly not quite ready.

The answer is this. I'm counting on my ego to keep my pedals going in circles while we ride along the desert floor.

I live to succeed and am powered by the drive to win. However, if I am not able to ride the entire length of the trail, I will take comfort in the fact that I have challenged myself to ride farther than I've ever ridden before.

My new challenge - Bikram

I made a strict promise to myself at the beginning of the year to find a physical outlet for both body and mind. To find a place where I would be able to challenge myself without feelings of inadequacy and competition.

I have found that challenge. It is Bikram Yoga.

It is not the relaxing, bendy yoga. This is 90 minutes of focus or die yoga in a 105 degree room with 40% humidity. It could be described as a breathing exercise consisting of 26 postures done in the same sequence.

I'm using it s a tool to reconnect my mind with my body and bring back the flexibility I have lost from the new hip replacement. My body still feels very foreign to me and it's important that I be able to feel more of the transitions it is making.

While I am still easing my way into the practice I have learned a few very important lessons. After completing a class, I feel completely cleansed and giggle at the way my body oozes steam as I walk outside on a cool morning. I had my first yoga religious experience through Camel pose a couple of weeks ago which sent tears streaming down my face...Now when I reach in to Camel, I smile and my entire body fills with joy and satisfaction. Most importantly, I have learned that a cluttered mind in this environment makes the practice impossible to complete and that lack of focus will bring waves extreme nausea and dizziness over my body.

It's 90 minutes of discipline, but at the same time it feels like an escape. I love the similarities to the dojo in that everyone in the room is stripped of our careers, houses and material things and for the class we are merely students.

While I'm there, the only mandate is that I dedicate the time to myself and that is the kind of challenge and activity that makes me dig deep and get to know myself better. And I'm really liking how it feels to dedicate this time to me...

Search and you shall find

I love the Interweb!

Plagued with solving the puzzle of figuring out how many plastic playpen balls will be needed to fill the kiddie pool we are using for a treasure hunt at work in a few weeks, I was once again reminded that Google is the provider of all things info.

I found this. An online calculator that will show you how many playpen balls it would take to fill an apartment.

YAY!

From desired packing density, to number of balls to cost to fill the room. While not nearly impressive as the amount shown in the diagram - I now know that I need only 200 playpen balls to do what I need to do.

Random - yes. Useful - yes, yes! And to boot, the cartoon that inspired the development of the calculator - also fun.

Check it.
Cartoon courtesy: xkcd

Hey Smart Ass!

Yes, still playing with the bathroom.

After waiting at home while Jason made four trips to the tile supply store and a lot of me just staring blankly at the wall, I was bored. And when I'm bored, I get feisty.

Jason, "Draw me a picture..."

Dani [shrug], "Ok."

My smiley guy with the 'hee hee' comment resulted in the paper and pen being taken away from me, but we both got a good chuckle out of it.

Built to last

This is it.

Left leg upgrade is now complete. It was January last year when this adventure began. I think of the whirlwind of emotions, complications and victories that have filled me since my decision to have the hip replaced and I'm finally able to look back and say, "Yup, I'm glad I did that."

However, with great upgrades, come great responsibility.

The other day while driving to the grocery store I noticed a man struggling to limp across the crosswalk in front of my car. I silently reminded myself I have been given a remarkable opportunity that freed me from my battle with pain - I need to not take it for granted. But I have, because I know I can do more.

So I'm writing this note to myself...

Dear Self,


Push more! Stop talking about all of the activities you want to do and DO THEM. Finish building the foundation you need to overcome your fear and get back into the activities you love. You have the green light to do whatever you feel you can physically tolerate, so get out there and hit it. You are stronger than you think and are not going to get hurt again. If you don't - you're letting it all go to waste.

Thank you,
Ms. Back-to-Badass-Dani

The frosty side of SLC

My back's a bit tired and the left side of my ass is frozen from the inside out, but I found the cold, quiet of the evening a much needed end to a busy day.

From opposite sides of the driveway come the sounds from Jason and I with our shovels...

Scrape, ka-thud.
Scrape, ka-thud.
Scrape, ka-thud.
(Pause, stretch, switch)
Scrape, ka-thud....

I looked up to see the tops of the trees and the mountain behind seemingly glimmering from the reflection of the clouds and city lights. Amazing. It's the beauty and quiet of a snowstorm that slows me inside a bit. I'm cold, but I'm calm and that's what I really need.

I am the ADHD poster child

Somewhere between remodeling, trying to directly influence company revenue and holiday functions galore this season, I've had just about enough energy to remember that it is the exhale that comes after the inhale as I breathe.

I do it every year. Play too much, work too much and inevitably decide to take on something new during the holidays to try and make me feel like I'm having more fun. This year, I donned myself the baker which resulted in nothing short of the Betty Crocker bomb going off in my kitchen. In a frenzy I surrounded myself with pounds of peppermint candy, zucchini apple bread, rice krispie treats (which the cats helped themselves to after finding the treats on the top of the fridge ) and enough cookies to feed a small army.

So now that two of the big three holidays are passed, I find myself looking to prioritize and plan new direction. I'm making a list for myself - and no, I won't call it any sort of new year's resolution - because that is cliche and quite frankly, is the only sure fire way to guarantee it won't get done.

1. Finish the bathroom - Like, NOW
2. Fill my punching bag with the 100lbs of sand that is sitting in the garage
3. Get back to my kata
4. Finish the stack of books that are half read on my nightstand
5. Find a new gym - or yoga studio - or some place where I can go sweat and not leave feeling pissed off and inadequate
6. Unpack the box that has been sitting next to my dresser since September
7. Try snowshoeing or cross country
8. Pull the Pranayama CD out of the wrapper that I bought months ago
9. Finish the computer upgrade I started months ago

As I put this together I see the common thread - Finish that which you start. Maybe I'm looking more at a new mantra instead of a task list. My epiphany, in this moment of typing, is that the scattered feeling inside is coming from running around doing a lot of different things, but not taking the time to see them through. I'm going to tackle this so I can feel a clearer path of direction set before me.

See

Out of all the senses, it's sight I enjoy most. Especially on days like this... So many of my zen moments happen near the mountains.

Man vs. Woman and the power of the Uterus

I am a strong person who loves her work. I want to see how far I can take my career and support my husband as he does the same. Early in our relationship, we made a conscious decision to not have children (well before my doctor informed me I had to be sure about not wanting to be pregnant before they installed the chromium and cobalt hip that will leach metal into my body and could endanger a fetus).

It's been suggested I'm being selfish and I've been told I'll miss out on the greatest joy a woman can have. But this is my choice.

After sitting through a women & business conference today, I have admiration and respect for women who stay at home to raise their family and especially for those women who have been successful in pursuing a career while also raising a family.

What I wish for is that others would view me as a successful person in business. The fact that I am a woman and especially a woman who has chosen to pursue a career instead of a family, does not make me any better or worse for who I am or what I do. I am a good person. I make good decisions. I offer effective solutions. I am committed to what I do.

Every time I attend a conference like this, I walk away not only wondering why we haven't gotten past the woman vs. man issues in the workforce, but why I'm seen as lesser of a woman for deciding not to have children...

Sneezing in the dust mask is messy

And so is ripping out multiple layers of shit off the floor so we can remodel the bathroom.

Discoveries I made today:

1. I'm a sucker for loud noise, big tools and breaking stuff.
   
   
2. The original paint on the walls of my house were Crest colored green.
   
   
3. If you smack the floor hard enough with a sledgehammer, you can actually knock part of the wall off the bathroom in the basement down below....didn't particularly care for the gold glittered masonite much anyway, no love lost.
   
   
4. True to form - as with ANY home project involving tools or flame, I had an injury. Tried to fillet my thumb with glazed porcelain tile - turns out that stuff is REALLY sharp.
   
   
5. Apparently the toilet in this particular bathroom leaked for some time. And the tar paper that was placed on top of the sub floor to act as a water barrier did not work.
   
   
6. There were many layers on the floor. Layer #1: sub floor (good), layer #2: tar paper (not good), layer #3: particle board (uh, also not good), layer #4: turquoise with gold glitter laminate, layer #5: mortar, layer #6: backer board, layer #7: mortar and finally layer #8: the porcelain tile. Layers 8 - 4 are gone. Layers 3 and 2 are in progress and #1 will have to be cut out and replaced from leaky toilet listed above (and to think, I was planning on banging out some tile then laying more later in the week...HA!)
   
   
7. Sneezing in the dust mask creates horrible splash back onto your face and will splatter into safety goggles if said mask is not properly in place.

More updates to follow - in the meantime, here's some snapshots below.

Discovery of original paint color, goofy laminate and finding a good place to start yanking tile...


Demo Dani...Not pretty, but sure a lot of fun. Safety first!

And, this is about the point where I started swearing at the discovery of many additional layers that needed removal/replacement.

I'd like to pause the world, please

Minutes ticked by tonight, each one causing more aggravation at my lack of ability to power down for the night.

Three things occurred to me which made me get out of bed, turn off the Ambiance track and sit down in front of the computer.

1. I've become a slave to the clock and there's never enough time
2. I've isolated myself from the people who matter most
3. I really can't remember the last time I took the time for 'me'

My diligent allocation of energy for projects has led me to stress over spending too much or too little time to complete. 10 more minutes at the gym because I need to hit an hour. 60 minutes to run to the store. 30 minutes to answer my email. 90 minutes on editing. 30 minutes to let the door primer cure.

10 minutes to eat? When in the hell did I get to the point where I was struggling to find the time to eat? I've always got time for food...

Oh, and as I start this post, there's only 330 minutes until the alarm summons me to get out of bed and start the day. This is the kind of thinking that allows me to find myself recalculating the universe only to find the alarm going off while I'm in the middle of solving a problem or crafting a new idea.

Since I've started the move, I have also closed myself off to my friends and family because I needed more time to do stuff. And all this 'stuff' is making me feel hollow. It's been weeks since I picked up the phone and had a good conversation with my friend in Colorado who is preparing for a major move, or my friend in Germany, who is going through a major life change. And my family, who I am normally in constant contact with, gets quick chirps of data in between PT, work and trips to Home Depot.

I have lost touch with myself as well. Several months back, I specifically adjusted my schedule to allow for one Dani Day per week. A day where I saw visions of myself chillin' in a coffee shop then walking Buster in the park. Dani Day has turned into Appointment Day, Contractor Day, WTF is in this box Day and sometimes Work Day...The boundary I worked so hard to create for myself has been eroded and it is no wonder I'm beginning to resemble Oscar the Grouch- right down to the bulging eyes and bushy eyebrows.

So this weekend, I'm declaring a moratorium on remodel work and part of Friday will be set aside for me, even if the house is a mess. I'm killing the power to the computer and then I'll turn my cell phones off...both of them. And, if all I end up doing is sitting on my couch staring out the window in my sweats and tattered slippers over a cup of coffee, I'll let myself be OK with that moment and hit the 'control+alt+delete' inside my head.

Our Edamame Monster

My blog is no stranger to goofy stories about our animals. This one is no different.

Several months ago Jason and I were nestled at the kitchen table over a big plate of edamame. Chomping away at the delicious pods, our animals began to circle and beg, which we are accustomed to. But when Norman started to do his little screamy thing, out of curiousity, Jason sat a piece of edamame on the corner of the table.

In lightning speed, Norman grabbed the soybean and scarfed it. And, just to make sure we saw what we thought we saw, Jason did it again. And again. And again.

Check out the video below for a glimpse into the circus that surrounds us every time we pull the edmame bag out for dinner....